Wednesday, July 17, 2013

Best Casinos in South Florida My Butt

Ok. Ok. I get it. You guys were paid off to compile this list. How the heck could you not include the Miccosukees? Do you guys have any idea how much money I won down there in the swamps? And the original Seminole Casino, right across the street from the Hard Rock? Same thing. Tons of money I won. Tons. And lost. More lost than won. Groan.

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Best Casinos in South Florida (CBS MIAMI Channel 4)

Whether you’re a high-roller or an occasional gambler looking to turn $10 into $20, South Florida has several table games, no-limit poker and, yes, the good old fashioned one-armed bandits. Some casinos even offer free drinks as long as you’re gambling. Here’s a list of places where you can get your game on:

Seminole Hard Rock Casino

www.seminolehardrockhollywood.com

Features one of the largest gaming floors in the city with 2,500 slots and 89 table games including blackjack, baccarat, pai gow poker and Texas Hold’em poker. The casino also offers free drinks for those playing at the slots or table games, but it may take a while. The servers are usually inundated with requests and they’ll usually turn up when you’re down to your last dollar. The Seminole Tribe casinos have been around for years, but the slots were once limited to two types of slots. Now, the Seminole empire has grown to include the Hard Rock Cafe name brand and Las Vegas-style casinos.

The Village at Gulfstream Park

www.thevillageatgulfstreampark.com

Gulfstream offers thoroughbred horse racing every year from January through April. The big draw is the $750,000 Florida Derby that takes place in May. Gulfstream Park also features Las Vegas-style slot machines and 20 poker tables. The casino offers a wide variety of promotions and offers a players club card that can be redeemed for more free play or merchandise. Once you hit the jackpot, there are a number of places to spend those winnings including a variety of bars, restaurants and shops where you can purchase anything from flip-flops to high-end jeans.

Magic City Casino

www.flaglerdogs.com/slotgames.html

Inside the Miami casino, gamers can select from one of 800 Las Vegas style slot machines and offers greyhound racing and a poker room. Visitors can also dine at the Big Mouth Café or the Tres Hermanos Bar & Lounge. This is the site of the former Flagler Dog track, but now features high-end entertainment. The casino also features an amphitheater where well-known artists including Jon Secada, Joan Jett and the Blackhearts, and Air Supply have performed.

Mardi Gras Casino www.playmardigras.com

Just as the name suggests, Mardi Gras is a New Orleans themed casino that features 1,100 slot machines, poker tables and virtual blackjack. It also offers live greyhound racing and simulcast races. For food lovers, the casino also houses The French Quarter Bar & Restaurant that serves up traditional Cajun dishes and traditional prime rib buffet. The casino offers daily promotions including a shot at winning everything from a barbecue grill to a flat screen TV.

Calder Casino & Race Course

www.calderracecourse.com

Calder Casino and Racetrack has a variety of games from thousands of new and traditional slot machines to thoroughbred racing. It features 1,200 slot machines, three restaurants, electronic blackjack. The company that owns it is Churchill Downs best known for hosting the Kentucky Derby. The casino also features a reward card that allows players the ability to collect points and exchange those points for merchandise and even cash for slot machines.

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Editorial Reviews of All or Nothing

New York Times--". . . a cartographer of autodegradation . . . Like Dostoyevsky, Allen colorfully evokes the gambling milieu — the chained (mis)fortunes of the players, their vanities and grotesqueries, their quasi-philosophical ruminations on chance. Like Burroughs, he is a dispassionate chronicler of the addict’s daily ritual, neither glorifying nor vilifying the matter at hand."

Florida Book Review--". . . Allen examines the flaming abyss compulsive gambling burns in its victims’ guts, self-esteem and bank accounts, the desperate, myopic immediacy it incites, the self-destructive need it feeds on, the families and relationships it destroys. For with gamblers, it really is all or nothing. Usually nothing. Take it from a reviewer who’s been there. Allen is right on the money here."

Foreword Magazine--"Not shame, not assault, not even murder is enough reason to stop. Allen’s second novel, All or Nothing, is funny, relentless, haunting, and highly readable. P’s inner dialogues illuminate the grubby tragedy of addiction, and his actions speak for the train wreck that is gambling."

Library Journal--"Told without preaching or moralizing, the facts of P's life express volumes on the destructive power of gambling. This is strongly recommended and deserves a wide audience; an excellent choice for book discussion groups."—Lisa Rohrbaugh, East Palestine Memorial P.L., OH

LEXIS-NEXIS--"By day, P drives a school bus in Miami. But his vocation? He's a gambler who craves every opportunity to steal a few hours to play the numbers, the lottery, at the Indian casinos. Allen has a narrative voice as compelling as feeding the slots is to P." Betsy Willeford is a Miami-based freelance book reviewer. November 4, 2007

Publisher’s Weekly--"Allen’s dark and insightful novel depicts narrator P’s sobering descent into his gambling addiction . . . The well-written novel takes the reader on a chaotic ride as P chases, finds and loses fast, easy money. Allen (Churchboys and Other Sinners) reveals how addiction annihilates its victims and shows that winning isn’t always so different from losing."

Kirkus Review--"We gamble to gamble. We play to play. We don't play to win." Right there, P, desperado narrator of this crash-'n'-burn novella, sums up the madness. A black man in Miami, P has graduated from youthful nonchalance (a '79 Buick Electra 225) to married-with-a-kid pseudo-stability, driving a school bus in the shadow of the Biltmore. He lives large enough to afford two wide-screen TVs, but the wife wants more. Or so he rationalizes, as he hits the open-all-night Indian casinos, "controlling" his jones with a daily ATM maximum of $1,000. Low enough to rob the family piggy bank for slot-machine fodder, he sinks yet further, praying that his allergic 11-year-old eat forbidden strawberries—which will send him into a coma, from which he'll emerge with the winning formula for Cash 3 (the kid's supposedly psychic when he's sick). All street smarts and inside skinny, the book gives readers a contact high that zooms to full rush when P scores $160,000 on one lucky machine ("God is the God of Ping-ping," he exults, as the coins flood out). The loot's enough to make the small-timer turn pro, as he heads, flush, to Vegas to cash in. But in Sin City, karmic payback awaits. Swanky hookers, underworld "professors" deeply schooled in sure-fire systems to beat the house, manic trips to the CashMyCheck store for funds to fuel the ferocious need—Allen's brilliant at conveying the hothouse atmosphere of hell-bent gaming. Fun time in the Inferno.

World Series of Poker

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Bio


Preston L. Allen is the recipient of a State of Florida Individual Artist Fellowship in Literature and the Sonja H. Stone Prize in Fiction for his short story collection Churchboys and Other Sinners (Carolina Wren Press 2003). His works have appeared in numerous publications including The Seattle Review, The Crab Orchard Review, Asili, Drum Voices, and Gulfstream Magazine; and he has been anthologized in Here We Are: An Anthology of South Florida Writers, Brown Sugar: A Collection of Erotic Black Fiction, Miami Noir, and the forthcoming Las Vegas Noir. His fourth novel, All Or Nothing, chronicles the life of a small-time gambler who finally hits it big. Preston Allen teaches English and Creative Writing in Miami, Florida.