Please explain this cop to me

Please explain this cop to me.

I went down to Key Largo with my family to dine at the Fish House, and suddenly I saw flashing lights behind me. A cop.

But why?

I was not speeding, I was not driving erratically, my license was not expired, and my insurance had not lapsed, so what the heck was going on?

"Pull over!" the officer (sherrif) shouted through his electronic megaphone.

So I pulled over.

The cop walked over to the car (with his hand on his gun) and said, "Do you know why I pulled you over?"

Now, in the past whenever a cop had asked me this question, I would look up at him guiltily and say, "Because I was speeding, officer?"

But this time all I could do was shake my head and say, "No. No. I have no idea why you pulled me over."

This seemed to make him angry and sarcastic.

He exploded, "I was behind you for the last three miles, giving you a chance to move to the other lane and you did not move to the other lane."

I was confused. What the heck was this angry guy babbling about?

"But what did I do?"

"We have a law in this state, and the signs are posted all over the highway, slower traffic must drive in the right hand lane. You have a Florida tag so you must know of this law. You were drivng in the left hand lane--all slower traffic must drive on the right. The speed limit is 45 and I clocked you at 43. You should have been driving on the right at that speed."

That was my crime? Doing 43 in a 45 zone? What!

I argued, "But, officer, if the speed limit is 45 and I am doing 43, am I not one of the faster drivers? I could maybe speed up to 44, I could do maybe 45, but if I did 46 you would pull me over for speeding."

He shouted, "Are you trying to argue with me?"

"No, sir."

"Ignorance of the law is no excuse! You should have shifted into the right hand lane!"

"Yes, sir."

"What were you doing in the left hand lane anyway?"

"Uh, uh," I stuttered, "we were looking for the Fish House."

"Well," he said, "you passed it a half mile back. Make a U-turn right here, and drive back a half mile."

"Yes, sir. Thank you."

"And from now on, obey the law. Drive in the slow lane."

"Yes, sir. I'll make sure to do it next time."

He was angry again. "No!" he shouted, and then he corrected me like a grade school teacher: "Do it EVERY time!"

Then he went back to his car, and I made my U-turn and took my baffled family to the Fish House, where we uncomfortably ordered and then ate our meal.

Biting into his grilled tilapia, my brother the rapper said, "It's racism. He was profiling you. He pulled you over because you are black, and then he became angry when he heard you speak so eloquently. You sound like a college professor or some smart person and black people aren't supposed to be smart. If it was me driving, he would have been happy to give me a ticket or beat me up and drag me off to jail. Notice that he did't even give you the ticket. So why did he pull you over? He was profiling you. Did you notice that he came to the car with his hand on his gun?"

My brother, who goes by the stage name CHIEF, was dressed in the baggy pants, loose-fitting short, and bandana of his stage persona. My brother is young (27) and gloriously tattooed, and wears an earring in each ear. I, on the other hand, was dressed in a tourist t-shirt, shorts, and sandals. I am not pierced. I wear no body art.

My son, the 14-year-old philosopher, nodded and then surmised: "His reasoning made no sense. How is driving 43 in a 45 zone to be considered driving too slowly? This raises the whole question of what slow driving actually is. It's like you said, papa, if you drive 45, you risk slipping into 46 momentarily and breaking the law for which he could technically give you a speeding ticket. But if you do 43, you are driving too slowly. Is 44 also too slow a speed? Is 45 the only speed that one is allowed to drive in a 45 zone and not be considered too slow? What is too slow? Should they not post the range of what is too slow on the speed limit signs? For example, 'Speed Limit 45: 44 to 45 is acceptible: 43 and below is too slow,' or something like that. And by the way, it is speed LIMIT. LIMIT. That implies that 45 is the fastest that you are permitted to drive--it is not a suggestion that you must drive 45, right? Is not a limit the highest point in a range?"

My wife said, "And we are tourists. The economy is bad all over, especially down here in the Keys. This part of the Keys is usually filled with people, but because of the hurricanes and high gas prices, there is very little traffic. We are tourists--he should be happy to see us here. Everybody should be glad that we are down here patronizing their businesses. It doesn't make any sense for him to pull us over like that. And if you broke the law, why didn't he give you a ticket? And why was he so nasty with you? You were very polite to him and he acted like such a jerk."

My brother said, "Because he knew he was wrong. He was profiling and he pulled over the wrong car, so he made up some BS excuse to explain it. I never heard any BS like being pulled over for driving too slow--too slow? And doing 43 in a 45 zone is too slow? That's just BS. He got caught, that's all."

The meal at the Fish House was wonderful. I highly recommend the Fish House.

But why was I pulled over?

Maybe it was just a misunderstanding. Maybe it was just a mistake. Maybe.

Thanks,

Preston