Preston L. Allen's Ing and Bling Book Review: Slots Addicts and Sexy Women

Saturday, December 29, 2007

Slots Addicts and Sexy Women

"Oh my," says the jealous wife, "there are so many sexy women at a casino."

Don't worry about it, ma'am.

I once did an informal poll of my slot machine friends--both males and females.

Here's the question for males: which do you like better, making love to a sexy woman or playing the slots?

Males answered: (approximately)

40% Playing the slots
40% Making love to a sexy woman
20% Making love to a sexy woman and Playing the slots are about equal in my book.

Here's the question for females: which do you like better, having an orgasm or playing the slots?

Females answered: (Approximately)

60% Having an orgasm and Playing the slots are about equal in my book.
10% Having an orgasm
30% Playing the slots

Once again, it was an informal study with a very small group of respondents (20 in all--10 males and 10 females) and all of the respondents were serious slots addicts who had spent time in GA and whatnot and all of the respondents answered me in a face-to-face manner in a group setting rather than in a blind survey format, so I am not really sure what to make of the results. Were they just BS-ing me or posturing? Maybe.

But what I do know is that when your addicted husband or boyfriend is hanging out late and comes home smelling like casino (stale cigarette smoke and cheap liquor), it is very unlikely that he has been sleeping around.

With your wife or girlfriend coming home late smelling like casino, it is probably the same thing, unless she has compromised herself with some guy in order to get money to play the slots (this happens sometimes).

But all in all, slots addicts are more interested in their gambling than they are interested sex.

Ladies, as I said in the book ALL OR NOTHING, you are not going to lose your man to a sexy woman he met at a casino--you are going to lose him to the casino. The casino IS THE SEXY WOMAN.

Happy New year!

Preston

No comments:

Editorial Reviews of All or Nothing

New York Times--". . . a cartographer of autodegradation . . . Like Dostoyevsky, Allen colorfully evokes the gambling milieu — the chained (mis)fortunes of the players, their vanities and grotesqueries, their quasi-philosophical ruminations on chance. Like Burroughs, he is a dispassionate chronicler of the addict’s daily ritual, neither glorifying nor vilifying the matter at hand."

Florida Book Review--". . . Allen examines the flaming abyss compulsive gambling burns in its victims’ guts, self-esteem and bank accounts, the desperate, myopic immediacy it incites, the self-destructive need it feeds on, the families and relationships it destroys. For with gamblers, it really is all or nothing. Usually nothing. Take it from a reviewer who’s been there. Allen is right on the money here."

Foreword Magazine--"Not shame, not assault, not even murder is enough reason to stop. Allen’s second novel, All or Nothing, is funny, relentless, haunting, and highly readable. P’s inner dialogues illuminate the grubby tragedy of addiction, and his actions speak for the train wreck that is gambling."

Library Journal--"Told without preaching or moralizing, the facts of P's life express volumes on the destructive power of gambling. This is strongly recommended and deserves a wide audience; an excellent choice for book discussion groups."—Lisa Rohrbaugh, East Palestine Memorial P.L., OH

LEXIS-NEXIS--"By day, P drives a school bus in Miami. But his vocation? He's a gambler who craves every opportunity to steal a few hours to play the numbers, the lottery, at the Indian casinos. Allen has a narrative voice as compelling as feeding the slots is to P." Betsy Willeford is a Miami-based freelance book reviewer. November 4, 2007

Publisher’s Weekly--"Allen’s dark and insightful novel depicts narrator P’s sobering descent into his gambling addiction . . . The well-written novel takes the reader on a chaotic ride as P chases, finds and loses fast, easy money. Allen (Churchboys and Other Sinners) reveals how addiction annihilates its victims and shows that winning isn’t always so different from losing."

Kirkus Review--"We gamble to gamble. We play to play. We don't play to win." Right there, P, desperado narrator of this crash-'n'-burn novella, sums up the madness. A black man in Miami, P has graduated from youthful nonchalance (a '79 Buick Electra 225) to married-with-a-kid pseudo-stability, driving a school bus in the shadow of the Biltmore. He lives large enough to afford two wide-screen TVs, but the wife wants more. Or so he rationalizes, as he hits the open-all-night Indian casinos, "controlling" his jones with a daily ATM maximum of $1,000. Low enough to rob the family piggy bank for slot-machine fodder, he sinks yet further, praying that his allergic 11-year-old eat forbidden strawberries—which will send him into a coma, from which he'll emerge with the winning formula for Cash 3 (the kid's supposedly psychic when he's sick). All street smarts and inside skinny, the book gives readers a contact high that zooms to full rush when P scores $160,000 on one lucky machine ("God is the God of Ping-ping," he exults, as the coins flood out). The loot's enough to make the small-timer turn pro, as he heads, flush, to Vegas to cash in. But in Sin City, karmic payback awaits. Swanky hookers, underworld "professors" deeply schooled in sure-fire systems to beat the house, manic trips to the CashMyCheck store for funds to fuel the ferocious need—Allen's brilliant at conveying the hothouse atmosphere of hell-bent gaming. Fun time in the Inferno.

Bio

Preston L. Allen is the recipient of a State of Florida Individual Artist Fellowship in Literature and the Sonja H. Stone Prize in Fiction for his short story collection Churchboys and Other Sinners (Carolina Wren Press 2003). His works have appeared in numerous publications including The Seattle Review, The Crab Orchard Review, Asili, Drum Voices, and Gulfstream Magazine; and he has been anthologized in Here We Are: An Anthology of South Florida Writers, Brown Sugar: A Collection of Erotic Black Fiction, Miami Noir, and the forthcoming Las Vegas Noir. His fourth novel, All Or Nothing, chronicles the life of a small-time gambler who finally hits it big. Preston Allen teaches English and Creative Writing in Miami, Florida.

"No Regrets, Coyote is a very cool ride. If Raymond Chandler was reincarnated as a novelist in South Florida, he couldn't nail it any better than John Dusfrene.”--Carl Hiaasen

“John Dufresne has turned his considerable artistic gifts to the crime novel, and the result, No Regrets, Coyote, is touching, nervy, richly detailed, and populated with a cast of characters who are utterly unique and terrifyingly real. Its humor is abundant and warm-hearted, and its detective hero is unlike any we've ever met before. American crime fiction has just gotten a lot more interesting.”--James W. Hall

“No Regrets, Coyote is a novel so good you want to throw a party for it. It’s tense, unnerving, fearless, and funny as hell. Beautifully rendered on every page, it may be a crime novel in name but it’s literature for the ages.”--Dennis Lehane

Boo-yaa!

All right, all right. Sounds like fun. I can't wait to read it.

What they are saying about "Every Boy Should Have a Man"

In "Every Boy Should Have a Man", Preston L. Allen's prose plants a storyteller in your head, and all you have to do is pull up close to the fire, ignore the rustling in the darkness behind you, and listen as he paints the world from the point of view of the 'other'. And what a view it is. This folk-tale/fantasy/myth/cautionary tale opens doors and windows into parts of your conscience you probably forgot were there. This is the bedtime story you read to your grown children (or they read to you). What's it about? At once as familiar as that stuffed bear you slept with, and as strange as another planet, this tale cannot/should not be summarized. It must be read. I started it one evening, reading until sleep took over, then finished it the next day, and was left with a growing warmth in my chest - a mixture of contentedness and sadness, reading the Apocrypha that follows the main story for bits and pieces to keep it going. You must read this book. I know I'll return to it again (and again). I know I will be pushing it into the hands of my reading friends. Read this book.(Sergio, from Amazon)

I"m No Gambling Counselor

I'm just a novelist. But I'd love to hear from you. Go ahead. Email me. Let's talk about gambling, big wins, even bigger losses, books, agents, editors, book tours, book deals, film deals. The St. Louis Rams. Chess. Steroidal baseball players. I'm older now. I know a lot about everything, and what I don't know about I can find out from my sage-like friends. By the way, if I were still a gambler, I would have made a serious mint with the lucky numbers that I post on this page--they keep hitting--the most recent hit is 979, which came in on December 15. Dang!

And don't be afraid to buy my book, ALL OR NOTHING (Akashic books, $14.95). It's a great book, my break through novel they are calling it. You will love it--so say the Kirkus Review, Publishers Weekly, Library Journal, Lexis-Nexis, and the rest of 'em. It is my gift to the world. I wanted you to have a fun read, but with a serious message--with the emphasis on FUN. You will love P--he's a sick, degenerate gambler, but he always leaves you with a smile.

Shout Outs!

George W. Bush! Thanks for being honest about your addiction.

Michael Vick! Hang in there, brother. Killing dogs is not a humane thing to do—prison is perhaps too harsh a way to learn that lesson. But hang in there, learn your lesson, come out strong and hungry—you’ll be on top again soon.

Alex Trebek! Hang in there, Alex! We luv ya. The answer is: these two will keep you alive even when your body fails. The question is: What are Faith and Courage?

David Beckham! All right now, baby daddy. You go, boy. You’re breeding like a rabbit. But that’s okay, go ahead and bring another little Pele or Johan Cruyff into the world. What am I saying . . . bring another little David Beckham into the world.

Nicole Richie! You're going to be a mom. Cut the crap, now. Make us proud. We luv ya.

Tom Brady! You’ve got some balls on you, kid. In my heart, I thought the Steelers D would eat you alive, but you hung in there, and before I knew it, the Steel Curtain was looking at a 21-point butt wooping.

New England Patriots! I still have not forgiven you guys for stealing that Super Bowl from my beloved Rams—but you are a team of destiny. Go get your16-and-Oh, boys! Record books are made to be re-written.

Ike Turner! You still groove, brother. You and Tina were the Bomb! Rest in Peace, music man.

Oscar Peterson! A musical giant. He was a friend of my late piano teacher, jazz piano man Samuel Adolphus (AKA Lord Doc), who said of Oscar Peterson: "He had the fastest fingers in music. He was an improvisational genius without peer. He never played a song the same way twice." Rest in Peace, music man.

Reviews of All or Nothing

Maggie Estep, Flamethrower--"By turns harrowing, illuminating, and endearing, Preston Allen's All or Nothing is more than a gut punch, it's a damn good book."

Gonzalo Barr, The Last Flight of Jose Luis Balboa--"All or Nothing is a breathless tour through the mind of P, a gambling junkie who divines lucky numbers everywhere, even in the mumblings of his severely asthmatic son as he comes out of anaphylactic shock. Winning the bet is the only thing. And money has little value except as a means to place the next one. Preston Allen's writing is as tight as a high wire. Out of the hyperkitsch world of gamblers and the casinos they inhabit, Allen creates a novel that is frightening and sad and thrilling."

John Dufresne, author of Johnny Too Bad--"Allen has done for gambling what William S. Burroughs did for narcotic addiction. He's gotten into the heart of the darkness and shown us what it feels like to be trapped, to be haunted, to live without choice. Allen is relentless and unsparing in his depiction of the life of a gambling addict, from the magical thinking to the visceral thrill of risking it all. And now the world will know what we in Miami have known for a long time: Preston L. Allen is so good a writer it's scary."

Hats and Eye Glasses: Book Review

Advance Copy review:

Well, I was right when I said that I would love this book. I read it last night and I highly recommend it.

Martha Frankel writes with warmth, wit, and intelligence about the double life we live as addicted gamblers. Nobody knows how deep we are into it, how much money we have lost, how much money we continue to lose, or the lengths we will go to continue getting our gambling “fix”—not even those who are closest to us. On the one hand, we are the successful interviewer of big-name celebrities, the happy wife of the perfect husband, the good friend, the dutiful daughter to the ailing mother. Life couldn’t be any better, or so it seems. On the other hand, we are maxing out our credit cards, blowing thousands of dollars to chase the enormous sums of money we have already lost because of our addiction to online poker.

Set in gambling dens in Las Vegas, Atlantic City, the Bahamas, South Florida, and various parts of California, Hats and Eyeglasses traces the path of Martha Frankel’s addiction from its beginnings at the friendly Wednesday night poker games, to the high-stakes tables at the Vegas casinos, to her devil-may-care online risk taking.

This may sound like familiar territory, but don’t be fooled. This one will be hard to put down. What sets Hats and Eyeglasses apart from others in this genre and makes it so addictively readable is that Frankel peoples it beautifully with memorable characters with genuine feelings for each other, so much so that you share the narrator’s apprehension when she contemplates revealing her dark secret life to her friends and kin, whom you have grown to love. You will not be disappointed by this book.

It is one of the few books on the subject that had me cheering throughout, made me weepy in places, and left me smiling at the end.

Thanks,

Preston 1/20/08

The Rams

The Greatest Show on Turf. Laugh at them now, but nobody was laughing back in '99 when they paid off at 150 to 1 and won the Superbowl.

Then they would have won in 2001 when the Patriots beat them. Maybe that game should be investigated. I really think it should be. If you recall how good the Rams were that year, there is no way the Patriots beat them without . . . cheating. I lived in Boston as a kid, and I was very fond of the Pats--they were my second favorite team way back when. They still are--I just wish the Rams had won that second Superbowl before the downhill slide kicked in.

But rest assured:

The Rams will rise again!

Four Out of Four Roses

The best fiction book I have read in years!

Mr. Allen’s “All or Nothing” is the story of P and his gambling addiction. “All or Nothing” is an extremely powerful and simply told story. If I hadn’t needed sleep I would have read this in one sitting.

The character P, we’re never told anyone’s full name, is an honest man. Honest, in that he knows he’s a gambler. He knows he is addicted to gambling. He knows he lies to those around him. He doesn’t apologize for who and what he is. P allows us to see into the mind of a gambler and that the meaning of money has many interpretations.

I agreed to read “All or Nothing” because I thought it would be a basic story about a gambler. A straightforward fiction book.

I was unprepared for the emotional intensity of Mr. Allen’s writing.

I was unprepared for the stillness and soft bluntness of Mr. Allen’s writing.

“All or Nothing” is one hell of a book. Thank you Mr. Allen.

Preston L. Allen's Ing and Bling Book Review

Saturday, December 29, 2007

Slots Addicts and Sexy Women

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